I'm writing a letter to someone which requires me to divulge the state of my health. I've crossed out "terminally" in front of the "ill" or exchanged it for ''very''. Or extremely. Because, how do you say, I'm seriously too sick to do that job I promised or nope, I probably won't be around on that date. At all. Anywhere. How do you say "I'm literally dying" in a way that doesn't kill the other person?
And then I began to realize that it's kind of none of my business to keep others safe from my news. It's just news and I'm just the messenger.
Lately, simply being the messenger has become a straight up time management problem. I decided to blog about my treatment because, as the friends around me saw, I needed one place to tell everyone what they needed to hear.
So here's where I am:
I have a Stent in my esophagus, which is keeping it open and me alive
I have a port implanted that allows them to deliver chemo directly into the heart of the beast. Er, me.
I have chemo next Wednesday to Friday. I get to bring the meds home overnight--a sleepover!--in the form of some kind of fannypack. A fanny pack they're calling it. Sounds cute, right? Hmmmm.
By their measurement, I'm sure a fanny pack equates to a full-on mountaineering back pack. Complete with dining tent.